to be or not to be

to be 
or not to be 
its your choice

choice may be difficult 
it all depends on many things
culture
circumstances


let me talk my attitude
my first experience was with a boy whom I really loved
he was my classmate
first we were friends
I wrote notes for him
while he took rest , or sang songs.


one day 
we were all alone after the classes
others had gone home
he wanted to be with me 
and on his request
i made copies of notes
while he sang songs


after completing the work too
he didn't want go home
we sat there
no one was around

i always wanted him
i loved him 
as a man would love a girl
he did act as a girl in school dramas

i stretched my arms and got him by his waist
i pulled him closser to me
he became silent
he was expecting me to do it, i thought


whether he liked it or not
i pulled him to me
kissed his red lips
sucked his lips
my fingers moved over his breasts and nipples
and moved frantically down his body


it came
i wiped it out from his sweet lovely body
he didn't say anything
i sucked his thing
he too held me closely

he swore to me
that he shall be my wife
that he shall not marry anybody else
that he will not do it with anybody else

from then on
i know when a young man wishes to be with me
he brings happiness to me